What is Love


Represented in every culture on the face of the earth, language, art, and music. Is an integral part of the lives of 7 billion people and is responsible (the lack of it) for all the evils you see on earth. Those who grew up with it turn out to be carriers and distributors of it, while those who were deprived of it spend their whole lives searching for it; needless to say, they end up with caricatures of it and are frustrated over and over. They just seem to never be able to get a hold of it and as is true to the human condition, they never give up.

A few folks are in self-denial, telling themselves they have no need of love and since nature abhors vacuum, they give room to hatred, bitterness, and all the corrosive emotions available. Humans find fulfillment in association, not isolation. We are social creatures, and that is why Solitary Confinement is the harshest of punishments for the most dangerous convicted criminals. When you don’t communicate with another human being for weeks, or months, you start to lose your mind–literally.

Everybody has an idea of what they think love is or what it should be; the media has helped or otherwise to paint a somewhat distorted image of what love is or should be. Love is now synonymous with a lot of things that are pseudo, but not the real thing. Sex is now synonymous with love, goose-bumps is also synonymous with love, racing heart is synonymous with love, six-pack and abs also synonymous with love, all of the above have steadily become the norm and what love really is has been buried under stacks of hollywood movies, diluted so much that one can only wonder when we will reach the threshold of truth, where we can no longer call it love at all.

What am I yapping about? Love is not necessarily a feeling, though it is a by-product. Feelings are volatile, you can feel strongly about someone today and tomorrow, zit! This tells me that love is something more than just a fleeting sensation. The dictionary offers a broad spectrum of explanations, but like someone once said dictionary doesn’t really give meaning, it is a ‘diction array’ where meanings are given based on contextual usage. Hmm, that’s another thought, so, what is love?

This piece is not poised to give you answers, but meant to stoke the fires generated by those nagging questions that have been eating away at you. The unsettling feelings you get when you think you love someone and there is just something missing. There is an air of unfulfilled expectations about you even though you appear to have all you’ve ever wanted.

In the lyrics of the theme song of the movie FIREPROOF performed by Mark Willard, love is NOT a fight, but its something WORTH fighting for.

About the author

Akin Ibitoye

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